C for Courage (A to Z of Grief)

Nelson Mandela is quoted as saying, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.”

Often when we are experiencing the loss of a loved one, we feel a number of ‘negative’ feelings including fear. Fear tends to emerge when we feel that something bad might happen. In fact, something bad already did happen, and that feeling tends to linger, especially when we don’t know what our future will be like without our friend and our world seems to be turned upside down.

Feeling fear is just fine – it’s natural. Our triumph over it happens when we are able to differentiate between the real and imagined ‘bad’ things that we’re anticipating. Why would you want to know the bad things? Because then you can prepare for them, understand them, and work towards resolving them. By getting a clearer picture you can use your energy more wisely and support yourself more fully. By facing fears, you strengthen your ‘courage muscle’ and it tends to get easier and easier over time. Baby steps at first, strides later…

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